Toxic prewithdrawal

People like toxic things

I could tell you that I did too

It’s so easy to get addicted

How you fancied me:

when you first answered my message I didn’t think you had wanted to be friends

But over time we did and one summer i fell hard for you

I told my best friend how much I liked you

Finding out how hard you also fell for me was a great blessing

Loving you felt easy but hard

I enjoyed our inside jokes, the laughs, the way we would bond over things

I thought how I could love you forever

But the day I loose you, you broke  my heart and stepped on it a couple of times

I go to my therapist and nearly tear up

Saying we’re over

You fancied me to just say… “let’s be friends”

Friends don’t fall in love, or have someone’s hoodie or feelings

Toxic Withdrawl

Romantic bones

Didn’t think there was a bone for romance

There were moments were mine felt weak but I was going through it

We both had date nights and called often, a safe space being made

While we’re both in our beds hearing about each others days

Romantic bones… break

No one knows why, but they do

Some of mine broke realizing that id never be enough , or because of how busy ive gotten…

But hearing from her, my everything, the one who made me feel wanted and loved

That every romantic bone .. shriveled

My heart , soul and self felt like it got stabbed and kicked  then killed itself

Romantic bones.. don’t just shrivel

They grow old over time..

Maybe they’d never last

but the girl had so much hope

Emptiness

I feel like a shell

Old pieces of mine broken like hard bones

Friends helped me pick up the pieces

Blood dripping from their fingers but for her , her hands are soaked in blood and tears.

As the girl who’s broken, cries till there are no more tears

We get told how hard it can be to break one

But as much as I’ve had the carpet pulled out from me

Nothing can prepare you for this

The toxicity of wanting to hide and drink

Emptiness

You can’t tell anyone because they’d wonder why you aren’t happy

I hate this feeling

Every hour I yearn for my bed

For someone to hold me and tell me I’ll be ok